One and Done.

Yesterday was day one of the archival project with Taryn Lindsey Photography (Columbus Pin Up Studios). It took two hours to record 6 numbers with only one re-do.   I think it went pretty well, and some of the images I got to preview looked amazing so I am excited. I have 9 more to go. It's not everything but it's a good sampler of my work. If I were to do every number I ever made I would be there a week.

I did struggle after the shoot though. I haven't been happy with my performances lately and I can't figure out why I am not.  When discussing my struggle with Totalie, it was re-discovered that my original plan for Trulie was a "one and done" kind of feel. I still spend countless hours making paper dresses only to destroy them, but I was churning out a new number every show, and only doing one number per show when I first started. The idea was once I did a number I wouldn't do it again.

This became an issue when I started to get more gigs. Working full time made it very difficult to perform more than once every two weeks under these rules of mine, and producers always wanted two numbers from each performer. I let that inform my direction, and began to make numbers that used regular clothes (travels better, doesn't require build time after the initial pull) and I started to repeat numbers. (I got really fast at making certain dresses.)

I think that has lead me here to this place of me being unsatisfied. I do love these numbers, but nothing seems to compare to the feeling I have after walking offstage having performed a number for the first time. I was surprised when I realized just how much I had let others inform my direction. It's not a negative thing, I am happy to work with people, I just lost sight and that must be why I am unhappy.

I think I need to find that path again and see if I can get that feeling back.